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She's Adorned

It's the beginning of a new year and everyone is rolling what they want to tackle for the start of 2024; while I am still in my reflection period of this past year or two. We live in the society that garners on the on- to- the- next stage of living. How can you see what's next without knowing where you come from. This past year and the year prior challenged me to see life from every angle. It was the good and the bad that contributed to my growth. In the start of 2022; I knew my life would change but I couldn't tell you what would have happened. I was in a long-term relationship at the time but also seeking clarity of what I wanted to achieve for that year. I was seasoned in my 9-5 role at the time and then that changed.

In the start of the 2022, I was feeling that life felt settled in all the right places except for one part. I was questioning if I was truly happy with the life, I created the past three years. It had taken some emotional turns. In the closing of this year, I lost my home that I created, my friendships that were familiar and my relationship. Each loss was a step towards change. Change occurs when God sees you becoming comfortable and not reaching your highest potential. He uses those closest to you to challenge your thoughts and your feelings.

After leaving my relationship, I wondered in the fields of the unknown for a few months. I felt humiliated that I had failed in the eyes of society. It doesn't feel reassuring when you feel like you failed at something you worked so hard for. I also felt this way in my personal career as well. The 9-5 routine creates a labor practice that lessens our self-gain and self-worth and maintains processes. In the later part of this year, I started a position in the later part of 2022 that fit for what I needed to maintain financial structure but didn't satisfy the need of my heart. Working and feeling lonely is not an easy feeling. I think life is supposed to be filled with tons of checks and balances.

I fell in a new love and then decided something that I would never have suggested to my own self in the same position. I pursued a new full-time position of love. It's the duality of life and love. That's the duality of balance. Who says that love and life cannot exist together? At the time that I decided to leave my hometown and then newish job; I felt that it couldn't exist together. Today, in the start of 2024, I see that duality doesn't mean leaving something. It means balancing what you have. Question the things that seem familiar but consider the effects of those decisions. Take time to finalize your decisions and talk to those that hold you highest to consider all parts. In the start of 2024, the theme and understanding of these past two year can only be described with the word duality. On the first day of this year, I cried and considered that I must create a new life again, but it doesn't mean I have to leave the life I have. It means I have to create the life that considers the duality of my happiness. Having a mix of all things helps to keep things fun, unpredictable and fresh. Fall in love with duality and adorn yourself and others!

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