Home in my Heart

Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder. Though beauty can be the only thing that someone can see. The outside beauty is the protection of what lies beneath the surface. We are all protectors of our own energy and faced experiences. Would someone choose you if they knew you are a survivor of molestation? They may think that you have too much baggage. A girl whose been abused probably has self-esteem issues. Is it best to have something that is completely new and untarnished? We, as women and men often look for a partner, friend, lover etc who appears to have zero to little need for fixing. How do you know that if choosing based on beauty will lead to where you want to be. As for myself, I am beautiful on the outside but the inside is still under construction.

My inside consist of many failures, disappointments, misfortune. My insides also consist of good laughs, loves, exposure and experiences that have shaped me. I have fallen in love many times and yet each time in love, I have lost. I have lost parts of me that I continue to work on and that it just a reaction to being human. I find that who I am is not easily understood. I am quite a complex woman who desires to receive her full worth in return. After being used and abused, there is sometimes nothing left to give. Though with nothing much left, you still try. The process of rebuilding after noticing that there is nothing left to give can be at times where life becomes uncomfortable.

Also, through our relationships, we pick up habits that are not like ourselves. We create dynamics that sometime spill over from previous relationships. We hope that loving someone in our vision of love is enough. You can even love someone too much that it hurts. Love is such a complex factor in life. We hope that the beauty that we saw originally creates a beautiful union. What we must remember is that beauty in in the eye of the beholder. Beauty does not mean perfection. Beauty is understanding the imperfections that is included with loving someone.